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Am I in an Abusive Relationship?

The below shows examples of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse isn’t always physical, and some perpetrators are never physically abusive but use other tactics to exert control over their partner or family member. 

Does your partner, ex-partner or family member: 

  • Make you feel afraid of them? 
  • Make you feel isolated, bullied or belittled? 
  • Try to keep you from seeing friends or family 
  • Constantly check up on you? 
  • Regularly criticise or insult you? 
  • Physically hurt you? 
  • Make you feel as if you are walking on eggshells? 
  • Cause you to change your behaviour to avoid triggering an incident?                                                                        
  • Threaten you or your children? 
  • Control your money?  
  • Make you do things you don’t want to do or are uncomfortable with? 
  • Say you are useless and couldn’t cope without them? 
  • Deliberately damage your possessions? 
  • Have sudden changes of mood that dominate the house? 
  • Accuse you of flirting or being unfaithful? 
  • Prevent you from making your own decisions?


If you are in danger, please call the emergency services on 999. If you are unable to speak, listen to the operator and follow the guidance – from a mobile, you will be put through to the silent solution system, which will play a 20 second automated message and ask you to press 55 to confirm it’s not safe to speak, allowing you to be put through to the police. More information about the Silent Solution is available here. If you need immediate, non-emergency support, you can contact your local police by phoning 101.

There is a range of local and national support available if you’re a victim which is covered in the What Support is Available section.